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Men
would rather chase a woman than keep her Men
are turned on by the thrill of the hunt. Once they have a
woman, they don't how to keep her. They'd rather watch
sport on the big screen tv than please a wife in bed
[Professional
tips for catching a cheating spouse]
I wrote
recently about wanting to leave my fat, lazy husband who
turns me off rather than on and whose habits are firmly in
line with those of most suburban males: stretch out in the
recliner, watch tv, stuff your face with chips, chat online,
hang out with the guys.
All the
studies I've done show that men are more interested in
chasing skirt than keeping it. They are flattered when a
woman takes an interest in them, but as soon as they know
the woman is theirs, they turn off and revert to the typical
male mode of selfishness and laziness.
Haven't
we all been in the embarrassing situation of watching our
husbands turn cartwheels because some new young woman joins
their work place or social circle? The man's eyes light up,
he gets all silly and hormone-driven, he starts believing
he's the guy of his youth, the one before the beer gut and
double chin set in. Worst of all, he thinks a young woman in
her 20s is going to look at a sad, flabby, untidy man in his
mid-40s.
What
many husbands have failed to understand is that women come
alive in their 40s. They can even get angry and resentful
about the opportunities they've missed in order to kick
start and maintain a husband's career. Men and women usually
meet as equals, often both of them are at college, but it's
the woman who gives up her dreams so the man can pursue his.
That form of sacrifice has to stop.
Women
in their 40s want good sex, not the tired in-out routine
that married men mistake for making love. Many married women
in their 40s start to look at other men, and though they
might not act on the impulse, they certainly flirt and
imagine what it would be like to have an intelligent,
healthy lover who doesn't pant and wheeze in bed.
I know
a lot of women in their 40s who want to go back to school,
who start reading good books, who join reading and study
groups, who exercise regularly, really get in shape mentally
and physically. They'd like their husbands to do the same,
and they imagine their husbands will take an interest in
them if they look great and have something to talk about.
Unfortunately,
many men in their 40s and 50s settle into a do-nothing
routine that really seems to satisfy them. It's so sad the
number of men who love internet porn and chatting with
strangers (we don't even know if it's a woman on the other
end) but who won't look at their wives. I guess the fun in
hooking up with a cyber chick is that the woman is entirely
in the guy's head; she's imaginary, she can be anything he
wants her to be, which means she doesn't ask questions,
doesn't complain, and she flatters him -- men love flattery.
I'm
tired of my home being a battlefield and my bed, the
marriage bed, being an emotional desert. Yes, I'm looking
for something better: a better man and a better life. It's
time to open my eyes and live.
by
Marcia Thompson
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